Dear Mum

How do you not see the pain in my eyes? How do you not see that every day it’s a struggle for me to roll over and get up? Do you not see that you yelling at me all the time makes me scared, makes me become more anti-social, I’m terrified of having friends  because I always think I’m not a good enough person to deserve friends, you always call me a bastard, an ass hole  you wish me dead, you put me down constantly for things I don’t even do? I don’t understand how a mother could do that to a child, make them feel worthless all the time. How do you not notice my eyes being red from crying when I leave me room? Can I hide it that good or do you just not care? The thoughts that go through my mind at night bring me closer and closer to wanting to kill myself. Abusing me physically doesn’t help either! I don’t see how a parent could physically, mentally and verbally abuse a child until the point of wanting to commit suicide. So once again; Can’t you see the pain in my eyes? or do you just not want to believe its there?

depressed suicidal mum death contemplating suicide scared bad thoughts abuse mentally ill suicide anxiety depression

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